So, I'm a pretty boring blogger who doesn't write too much about anything controversial... I write rather on the run and so I just don't have time to do a research paper with proper editing and stuff. BUT, I will try to write about something that kinda' bugs me and hopefully I won't sound too mean or however you can sound when someone is READING what you say as opposed to hearing it (I think when you can talk things are
SOOO much more different - probably why there is so much hate talk on the
Internet and blogs).
So, I converted to Islam a few years ago and to start off, because I did that AFTER I got married (to a Muslim), I feel that people form an opinion of my religious beliefs due to my timing of conversion. And I don't blame them really; I mean, I probably wouldn't have really looked into Islam as much as I did if I didn't marry a Muslim (well, maybe if I got a good Muslim friend...). People usually don't just wake up and say, "hmmm, I don't like my religion anymore - what else is out there? Let me google it."
So, I think most people assume that I'm not a 'serious' Muslim. Which, I'm ok with because I understand where they come from and in the end, I don't need to justify my faith to them - just to Allah. I do encourage people to ask me about Islam and how I came to the decision to convert and have some really nice conversations with people about that. Also, I kinda' enjoy talking with Christians who are trying to convert groups of Muslims (we get this one group every once and awhile outside a local Yemeni restaurant - it's hilarious!) because I grew up Christian (well, Catholic; since I grew up Catholic I don't quiet 'get' a lot of the Christian groups, hehehe) and therefore know the ins and outs of their arguments and then on the flip side the arguments in and outs of Islam. (seriously, I need to video tape one of those times this Christian group tries to convert people; the population in the restaurant are for the most part from parts of the MidEast/Africa and therefore have a very different 'argument' style from the American Christians...)
I hold VERY strong opinions about personal faith - the main thing being that your faith is above family, community, etc and so any actions/conversions, etc regarding faith should be taking SERIOUSLY and not because someone wants/doesn't want you to do something. As in - if you are even remotely considering converting, you should not only look at the faith you are interested in, but research and talk with the religious leaders of the religion you are currently in. You should not hate the religion you are currently in. This should be something very organic and natural and if you have any doubts - don't do it! I don't think you can switch back because, why did you change in the first place? I actually converted much faster than I (or my husband) wanted, but at a certain point, I couldn't deny my beliefs any more.
Anyways - one of the other things about converting to a religion is that many people seem to feel that when they convert they need to prove how Muslim/Christian/whatever they are. (oh, let me note now that the same applies to Atheists - I swear they are more fundamental many times than people in a religion) THAT is annoying to me. It's one thing to be enthusiastic about your new faith. It's something else to tell everyone else what they are doing wrong or that they are a bad XXXXX (whatever religion), etc. There is something to be said about people who grew up within a religion and there is something to be said about people who grew up where the religion was the main one...
If you grew up in a religion, you got to have your family, societal and own personal point of view of that religion develop from when you were a kid through adulthood. You got to develop your understanding from the childhood explanations (God is good - just know that) to the more more adult reasons (yes, bad things do happen to good people). Your understanding has grown and you have probably gone through ups and downs of being rather strict to your religion to not being strict at all (although the religion was still part of your identity).
If you come into a religion at a later time in life, your entire understanding is different. You are already an adult, you already know certain things about other religions, personal faith, perceptions of other religions, the inequalities/hardships/unfairness of life, etc. Ideally, you have a long period of time to look at the new religion and question everything; somewhat go through a simulated ups and downs that the children do with the religion. But, it will be different and your personal understanding of the religion will always to some degree be influenced by your former religion because that was your/your family/your community identity for so long. And THAT'S OK! Experiences are important and make us who we are, but you CHOOSE your faith at a point and so it's expected that things are different for each of us. (hmmm - I may come back to this because I don't think I'm properly explaining my thoughts...) That doesn't make you any less or more apart of that new religion... Your faith is YOUR faith and in the end, it's between you and Allah...
The second thing I notice is a difference between people who grew up in countries where their religion was the main one vs. those who grew up as the minority religion. I feel very lucky that in the U.S., in
most parts of the country, there is an acceptance of people from different religions (yes, it would be nice also if more
religious holidays could be recognized, but I agree that this only works in places where there is such a large population of X religion that it would be beneficial and considerate... it wouldn't make much sense to have a day off for
Eid in a place where there are only a few Muslims, would it? By the way, you can still take off using holiday time for religious purposes, due to the religious rights guaranteed in most states). I'm also glad that it doesn't affect most personal relationships within the U.S. That is not the case everywhere, most notably in parts of Europe (I honestly have done research on different immigrant groups in Europe during university and find that both sides take many actions that hurt understanding and national assimilation). But, to get back to my point - I do find a big difference in how people view their religion, if they grow up as a majority religion or minority.
Mostly, many of the people who grow up as a majority religion have a much more relaxed sense of their faith. They are often more willing to talk about it in a constructive manner and they don't judge people so harshly many times (unless there is something culturally-religious off... like wearing hijab and short sleeves in parts of the Middle East... "why where the hijab?") Religion and faith is assumed as they grew up and so there is no need to defend their actions or their religion to others so much...
Compared to people who grow up the minority religion. (by grow-up, if you came into the country of question anytime before 18, you pretty much fit that bill... there can be variations, but I have seen people both come to the U.S/Canada or parts of the Middle East around this time who fit this bill) Their understanding of their own religion is different because, as a minority religion, they will at times have to explain to others their beliefs. Sometimes, this leads them to form a good understanding of how to bridge the 'gap' between religions, sometimes it makes them become very defensive and hostile. Sometimes, it causes them to quit their religion and go for agnostic/atheism/the main religion... Also, as the minority religion, their community of people within the faith is much smaller and I find some really interesting beliefs that come out of the different communities - mostly based upon where many of the people of that religion come from originally. It is very easy to find teachings that, to the people who grew up as the majority religion in their home country, are not quite right to the teachings that where taught where the religion was the majority. (does that make sense?) For example, my husband is constantly "correcting" to our friends things that they heard about Islam from his cousins, who came to the U.S. as children and grew up within the religion here. I'm sure- I KNOW - this doesn't apply to everyone who grew up the majority religion in a place, but it seems like there is almost less of an opportunity for more people as a minority to question their faith, which leads to just interesting understandings sometimes...
So, I am coming off harsh and want to finish that point by saying that family counts for A LOT and I think no matter what category you are in - your family teachings and beliefs help people in how they view religion, the world and the people around them... I'm just gripping about those cases where people will say things that are so far out there that you wonder "how did they get this way? Why do they think in such a manner?"
Please let me know your thoughts! :) And/or if I should further explain anything here or write about anything more... I need to work on my blogging skills! I still think I communicate better in conversation... :)
