Procrastination

Yep - I have tons of things to do, but I'm going to write... I have no idea about what. I just need a moment to think outside of work. ;P

I have been very distracted lately at work and feel at times like everything is going to collapse around me! While for the majority of my pregnancy I have not really had mood swings (my husband may beg to differ), I have noticed that in the last week I have been getting annoyed, antsy, anxious, etc rather quickly. I have had a stuffed nose for about 2 weeks now (I did get both the flu and H1N1 shot - yay!) which is not helping my head and probably has helped me feel so 'off' and 'blah.' I even went home on Wednesday because I wasn't feeling great and didn't want to kill my student workers who are great and lovely and can be oh so not productive like I would prefer at times... (just kidding - they are great, which is why I went home before I snapped for no reason)

I am still behind on work and I have not prepared my stuff for when I give birth as much as I'd like. I need to really get on that before our intern comes in and before the winter break since I'll only be here a month after that!!!

Personally, I'm behind on house work, the baby's room (well, I'm still undecided on much of that, but I don't think the baby will care too much anyways until they are... 1? 2?) and my language stuff. I NEED to start up my Arabic again!!!! 1. I have only really been talking in English during my pregnancy and so baby H isn't getting any of the sounds 2. I have been married over 5 years and it's just sad that I'm not more proficient than I am 3. F----l's mom is coming for about 2 months to help with baby H and I think I need to get my Arabic at least better than her English. It's just not fair to her that I'm still so bad. It's true - I'm more COMFORTABLE with my Arabic I know now, but my vocabulary is just sad. ... And I'm all talk and no action in my learning.

Any tips for learning? I get annoyed because many of the 'basic' level stuff is so basic that I would never use it in conversation with my husband, his family and our friends. I sort-of jump to higher levels, but I think that is screwing things up. And I know colloquial much more than MSA which also messes up when I look at language books. :( It's annoying. F----l thinks that if I watch more tv it will help, but I find that unless it's a Syrian or Gulf show, they don't repeat words enough for me to understand. I can't tell I understand more than years ago, but the Egyptian shows just don't repeat words enough to help with language learning!!! ;)

Ok - I was able to talk about something and so now I'll get back to work! Wish me luck!

Impressions of the U.S. I have seen from non-Americans

As I have mentioned previously, I work in International Education at a University in the Washington, DC area. This is a GREAT field to be in - it's very rewarding to work with students and there is also a great community of people within International Education who have great points of views about everything in the world. Also many different backgrounds - I consider my job to have everything in it: education, advising, legal work, marketing, logistics, and the list goes on...

While I do get to have great travels, people looking to be an international educator JUST for travel should know 2 things: 1. The DIRECTOR mostly travels (unless you are in admissions or a program rep for a region, in which case you may have travel to specific areas of the U.S. or world) 2. Site visits are usually quite work intensive and so... THEY AREN'T VACATIONS! Granted, it does depend on where you are - with my old work, I would get maybe 1/2 day of free time in a 10 day trip abroad; now, I have more free time although it is still only about a day or two...

But, I wanted to respond to the request to write a bit about how students coming into the U.S. view the culture and their experience. My responses are going to be a bit over the place as my current job deals more with students going for study abroad OUTSIDE the U.S., although I'm still in constant contact with many of our international students through the office and then other international persons in my private life. Now, for most of my comments - they are coming from students who came from Africa, Asia or the Middle East. Many of the comments is same from the Europeans, but there are some differences that I'll try to point out.

U.S. schools:

*There is a general amazement at the causal atmosphere of U.S. schools. Such as talking during class, eating/drinking during class, group discussions... This is pretty much across the board, whether the students are from Europe, Latin America, Africa, MidEast or Asia. People will focus on different things that they find more relaxed, but the general impression is that class in general is more relaxed than at their home universities/high schools.

*Often, students initially think that the classes are easier (probably because they are relaxed). That usually stops by the first quiz or paper. Many international students are not used to have to take small quizzes/papers so often, but rather used to the one big paper/exam for the entire semester grade.

* Plagiarism is a HUGE deal - many of our students don't understand what it is and/or why it's bad. This seems to go a few ways: 1. if you get the work done, what does it matter? 2. no one has original thought, so why should you have to cite everything you take from someone else? Doesn't that end up being the entire paper? A friend of mine from Switzerland had to always adjust her mindset coming in because she was used to a French system that figures you will argue a point and the reference don't matter as much because it's assumed you didn't come up with the ideas out of thin air (ie, you're not that smart).

*Professor/student interactions - many students find it hard to adapt to the causal relationship initially. (they like it, it just can be hard to get used to from certain places) Also, the idea that a good relationship does not necessarily equal a good grade.

College life:

*Social scene - unfortunately, many students will join cliques within their regional groups. It IS VERY hard for many international students to 'break into' the U.S. social groups - language ability and general social skills/laid back attitude certainly helps.

*Dating - always a tricky situation at first; we had a great discussion about this at a student meeting where they talked about 'dating' back home and 'dating' here. Many students find it fascinating how Americans don't want to commit AT ALL to a relationship or even think about marriage and kids. Many do view it as mostly disrespectful to the women in the U.S. that they don't put any standards on their relationships and future family idea.

*Clubs - most international students are either VERY involved or VERY not; there doesn't seem to be much of an in-between.

*Religion/morals/family - Europeans usually find the U.S. very pushy about religion and feel like we are very conservative with our moral views (even in 'liberal' areas like California and New York area cities). MidEast/Asians and parts of Africa find us very lose in our morals and often view the culture as not putting much respect/consideration to the family. (keep in mind, these cultures often are in the 'group think' category and have HIGH family consideration in every day life) Other parts of Africa/Caribbean/Latin America have mixed views depending on the topic.

Hmmmm - I have a head cold that is killing me and I can't think right now of any other topics. Comment if you have any categories and I can tell you what I have seen, although please keep in mind that my observations are OBSERVATIONS and can be particular to my area and the groups of international students I come across.

Your opinion?

So... I have two situations that I would LOVE to hear other people's opinions about. I find it fascinating and am not sure what to think about it really...

1. Unapproved marriage

So, there is a girl who has gotten engaged to a man whom EVERYONE (I can't think of anyone actually for it outside 1-2 brothers) is pretty much against. Not because the guy is bad, but rather for the way the entire situation was brought up and the overall conditions. A bit of background:

*the girl is Muslim (and family is, although they are pretty non-practicing within the family nucleus, outside the mom- dad passed away)

*the guy is not Muslim (that we know of - I'm not sure what he is; I think Christian something)

*the girl is 29; the guy is 40 or 50-something

*the guy is divorced with 2 kids (a 17 yr boy and 13 yr girl; or something like that). The girl lives with her mom in another state; the boy is in the area, but lives with his girlfriend and her family.

*the girl is a receptionist at a pound; the guy is a truck driver (locally)

*Dated about 1-2 months before got engaged - no one met the guy before hand and there was no introductions until the engagement itself

*girl (and her mom) wants kids really bad; guy doesn't seem to want to (already has two)

Objections:

*Guy is much older (I think he is younger than her dad would be, but looks rather old)

*Guy has ok job, but nothing that is considered a great career or something to help with retirement

*Guy is divorced with two kids. (this is more an issue to if the girl will take care of them and how it will be when/if she has kids by him)

*No one was asked about the guy or got to know him before the engagement and now most are against him because of that

*Obviously not a religious marriage

*Not what deceased father would want

Side notes:

*The girl is difficult (stubborn, immature, spends a lot, thinks of self only)

*The girl tends to date people who are very bad to her (mentally, physically)

*The girl tends to reject any guys that family/friends bring forward to her because they came from family/friends

*The girl doesn't have a career that she is happy with, but won't move forward to another job

*The girl tends to take lots of vacation without seeing how that could hurt her job

*The girl only comes to family/friends if she needs something from them (money, stuff)

*Both girl and guy grew up in U.S. (girl's family is culturally Arab, but they are more American - seriously, I understand most of the Arabness culture better than they do!)

*The guy is trying to talk with family, although through his conversations he often bring up his current kids. I'm not sure about what their relationship really is; especially considering the son doesn't live with him.

What do you think? They are having a civil ceremony soon and the 'actual wedding' later...

Oh - just found out that the guy became Islamic... (I'll keep my comments on witnessing that to myself)

2. Perceptions of life in random places

Another family friend is great fun, however they will say the most odd things and are determined to think of things a certain way- no matter if you give solid proof to the contrary. The funniest thing is to hear them talk about places where they lived. Their background:

*Grew up in Syria (1950-1970s)

*Living in Saudi (7-ish years in 1970s)

*Came to Southern CA (late 1970s through mid-1980s)

*Live in DC area (mid/late 1980s to now)

MY background is California (1980s-2002) and then the DC area (with travel to other spots, although only really living in London; month here and there in Jordan, a week or so in other locals). My husband: grew up in Saudi (late 1970s- mid 1990s), lived in Jordan (mid-1990s to around 2000 or so), live and work in Saudi (2000 or so through 2003-ish), now in U.S.

So, it's funny because they will talk about each location - with conviction - like they have not changed since they left!! Plus, they gets everything backwards. The other day, they were saying it look them 5 hours to get from one place in CA to another... I live about 400 miles away from their starting point and it takes ME about 5 hours to get to the end point - it should have taken them only about an hour! hehehe

Other funny stuff - she says all sorts of things about Saudi, despite the fact that she was only there around 7 years and left in the 1970s. My husband will counter that he lived there longer AND more recently, but that doesn't seem to make a difference. Pretty much ditto for every other location in the Middle East. In particular, apparently no one in the Gulf eats out...!!!! I thought that comment was pretty darn funny!!!

Please comment - I'm curious to see what people think.

I'm back!!!!

After being MIA for about a month now - I'm back!!!!! Well, sort-of. My computer was out of service for a while (it's very hard to work from an old laptop!) and this past month was busy, busy, busy! But, things are getting better... or shifting into a mid-semester phase which is a bit less hectic than early-semester, albeit with just as much work. :)

So, look for posts starting up again from me! Let me know if you also have any good hints for what to write about! :)