1. Unapproved marriage
So, there is a girl who has gotten engaged to a man whom EVERYONE (I can't think of anyone actually for it outside 1-2 brothers) is pretty much against. Not because the guy is bad, but rather for the way the entire situation was brought up and the overall conditions. A bit of background:
*the girl is Muslim (and family is, although they are pretty non-practicing within the family nucleus, outside the mom- dad passed away)
*the guy is not Muslim (that we know of - I'm not sure what he is; I think Christian something)
*the girl is 29; the guy is 40 or 50-something
*the guy is divorced with 2 kids (a 17 yr boy and 13 yr girl; or something like that). The girl lives with her mom in another state; the boy is in the area, but lives with his girlfriend and her family.
*the girl is a receptionist at a pound; the guy is a truck driver (locally)
*Dated about 1-2 months before got engaged - no one met the guy before hand and there was no introductions until the engagement itself
*girl (and her mom) wants kids really bad; guy doesn't seem to want to (already has two)
Objections:
*Guy is much older (I think he is younger than her dad would be, but looks rather old)
*Guy has ok job, but nothing that is considered a great career or something to help with retirement
*Guy is divorced with two kids. (this is more an issue to if the girl will take care of them and how it will be when/if she has kids by him)
*No one was asked about the guy or got to know him before the engagement and now most are against him because of that
*Obviously not a religious marriage
*Not what deceased father would want
Side notes:
*The girl is difficult (stubborn, immature, spends a lot, thinks of self only)
*The girl tends to date people who are very bad to her (mentally, physically)
*The girl tends to reject any guys that family/friends bring forward to her because they came from family/friends
*The girl doesn't have a career that she is happy with, but won't move forward to another job
*The girl tends to take lots of vacation without seeing how that could hurt her job
*The girl only comes to family/friends if she needs something from them (money, stuff)
*Both girl and guy grew up in U.S. (girl's family is culturally Arab, but they are more American - seriously, I understand most of the Arabness culture better than they do!)
*The guy is trying to talk with family, although through his conversations he often bring up his current kids. I'm not sure about what their relationship really is; especially considering the son doesn't live with him.
What do you think? They are having a civil ceremony soon and the 'actual wedding' later...
Oh - just found out that the guy became Islamic... (I'll keep my comments on witnessing that to myself)
2. Perceptions of life in random places
Another family friend is great fun, however they will say the most odd things and are determined to think of things a certain way- no matter if you give solid proof to the contrary. The funniest thing is to hear them talk about places where they lived. Their background:
*Grew up in Syria (1950-1970s)
*Living in Saudi (7-ish years in 1970s)
*Came to Southern CA (late 1970s through mid-1980s)
*Live in DC area (mid/late 1980s to now)
MY background is California (1980s-2002) and then the DC area (with travel to other spots, although only really living in London; month here and there in Jordan, a week or so in other locals). My husband: grew up in Saudi (late 1970s- mid 1990s), lived in Jordan (mid-1990s to around 2000 or so), live and work in Saudi (2000 or so through 2003-ish), now in U.S.
So, it's funny because they will talk about each location - with conviction - like they have not changed since they left!! Plus, they gets everything backwards. The other day, they were saying it look them 5 hours to get from one place in CA to another... I live about 400 miles away from their starting point and it takes ME about 5 hours to get to the end point - it should have taken them only about an hour! hehehe
Other funny stuff - she says all sorts of things about Saudi, despite the fact that she was only there around 7 years and left in the 1970s. My husband will counter that he lived there longer AND more recently, but that doesn't seem to make a difference. Pretty much ditto for every other location in the Middle East. In particular, apparently no one in the Gulf eats out...!!!! I thought that comment was pretty darn funny!!!
Please comment - I'm curious to see what people think.
For the marriage- that sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen. I think unfortunately people have to make mistakes to move forward. She sounds like she is a bit rebellious and kind of likes a little drame and is trying to get a reaction from her family which although is American, probably more conservative than other people7families she is around. Just a guess based on what I see here!
ReplyDeleteAs for the places, oh geez that irritates me to no end. When I lived in Paris people who were last there in the 1970's would tell me to go here and there like it would not have changed- and asked if it was still 5 francs for a coffee- ha! yeaaaaah riiiight! But I guess when you love a place and you have your memories you will always remember it like that. I lived in what I recall to be the crappiest neighborhood ever in Barcelona and now it is the absolute trendiest part of town!! However no matter when I go there, I still remember almost being mugged on that same street I lived on! :-)
Great post!
First, I really love the name of your blog and do hope that you are a happy girl!
ReplyDeleteOK-as for the marriage-thing, I'm with the previous poster. I mean, it just sounds so bad, like a reality TV show waiting to happen. She seems to be really immature and, at 29, I can't say that a marriage (and, let's face it, possible divorce) will help her grow. Being happily married myself, I hope that I'm wrong.
For the second, I can see that. I would find it annoying, too, but since I just did all my major traveling this year I haven't had that problem yet- being the annoying know-it-all giving out-of-date travel trips. :) Also, a lot of my friends who do travel have done so over the past couple of years, so their info is still fairly current.
Side-note: my family doesn't travel, so I could probably bore them with the same old stories for years and they'd never know!