MTV's 16 and Pregnant

I don't watch much MTV anymore. I think the last time I did was in 2002-ish, when I was still in university. At that time, they still showed music videos and the big show was TRL in the afternoon - again, which was focused around music and music videos. Ah... the good times.

Now MTV seems to only have shows. Some are probably pretty good, but others have the INTENTION to be good but don't quite make it. 16 and Pregnant is a great example.

I'm not really sure what their point was when they came up with this show. We have seen a growing realization that we have many pregnant teens (although I believe the total number of teen pregnancy has dropped, especially since the 1990s) and a growing realization that many of these teens are becoming pregnant on purpose. See "Gloucester Teens Had Pact To Get Pregnant"

In the US, for the most part we teach abstinence. That is, you shouldn't have sex. Many families don't talk about sex, most schools only barley touch upon this and there is almost no talk of contraceptives. (my public school in CA was pretty liberal and I don't remember them talking about this anyways!) At the same time, young men are seen as greater men for having sex and women are highly pressured to have sex by these boys that want to look like 'men.' Add that to the idea that women are seen as highly sexual in our media, movies and tv shows and you are setting up a generation for young sex.

There is the feeling that many of these women want to have kids because they want a cute little thing to play with and play 'mommy' with. There is the idea that they are just dumb and think it can't happen to them. It's probably a combination of both.

So, as I'm watching the finale show... it was just WEIRD. They didn't have a clear message at all. They keep saying stuff like (I'm paraphrasing because I can't remember exactly) "only you can PREVENT teen pregnancy"... it sounds like this is an illegal drug! And they say that and then switch over to talking with the teen mothers and basically being VERY sympathetic to them and lots of "congrats" for going through the pregnancy! These girls got on tv, got fame, probably some kind of compensation and therefore making the whole situation look pretty good. I think it's hard to show others how hard this can be by just saying so and showing short clips of life...

A BETTER way to go about this would be to come to the logistical points... 1. How did it effect your school year? Were you absent? Did you drop out? Did your grades drop? 2. How much did the pregnancy cost you for each doctor's visit (I don't know about them, but my co-pay is $30 a visit), pills, delivery, comfort things (pillows, food, etc)? 3. How much a month is the baby costing you now? 4. How often do you have to take the baby to the doctor? 5. Are you able to go back to school? 6. Who takes care of the baby? How much does that cost? Is that a long term solution? 7. Can you work? What happens to the baby? 8. Can you study for your HS degree/college with the baby? 9. What does labor feel like (the BBC just had an article about how little women anticipate the pain)? ... And probably some more.

PLUS - why don't they talk about STDs AT ALL?!!! I mean, you probably get more people who get STDs from sex as opposed to getting pregnant. And, again, this is something that you will live with FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! You can't say 'opps' in these cases and they need to bring that in!

I agree with the comment - you don't want to BE in this position to make these choices, but I think the focus and message of the entire show was muted and not clear at all. It's fine to congratulation these women for their decision to have the baby, but if they are being shown as an example of what not to do (as they say), they did a poor job.

Out of the entire group, the best couple I thought was the couple that gave up their girl for adoption. I think it will continue to be very difficult for the mother (especially if they keeping bringing the baby to her), but the way they talked throughout the ENTIRE thing - they were VERY mature and probably would be great mothers now or later. But, they knew what they wanted FOR THE BABY and didn't let their situation change that. That couple is a great example of people who will do well in life and I sincerely wish the best for them.

FINAL note: They showed a clip of one of the single moms with her mother in the car, where they are arguing and the mom (kinda') slaps her. I didn't see the whole episode, but it looks like the girl, quite frankly, deserved the slap. (and it's seriously didn't even get to her because they were in the car and that's just hard) But, Dr. Drew turns straight away to the mother and says "do you think it's ok to hit your child?" 1. she didn't hit her! 2. I think this statement over blew that entire argument and immediately gave power to teenagers that they don't deserve. If the kid knows that they could 'tell' on their parents for ANY behavior, they will do so to get what they want. (anyone see Russell Peters on this topic?

go to the 3rd minute if you want to see the best part, but the whole thing is good)

Anyways - I'm white :) and grew up in the US, but I do think there is something to be said for discipline (there are many ways to do this, you don't have to spank, but I sure was!). More than that - I do think that parents and for that part elders, deserve respect. You may not agree with them, but they are older than you and have lived a life that has given them some experience in things!!! I certainly don't agree with many things elders I know say, but I think you should at least consider what they say! And I don't think you should just push them for no reason!

But, more than anything else, I think that slap got pushed way out of proportion. If they are going to bring that up, they need to make a CLEAR distinction between a heat of the moment slap (my mom only slapped by once, but BOY was she mad! And I was a teen... I laughed because it was so weird for that to happen and I was shocked, to say the least) and CHILD ABUSE. Child abuse is horrible and should be stopped, but we can't go overboard. (my friend's kid told their teacher they were scared of her and she doesn't do anything other than spank her kid when bad! The kid is 7 and now feels scared because child services came to their house and the told the mom not to spank (the mom is going to court because she doesn't think it's unreasonable) the kid or they will take her away! My goodness!)

Anyways - that's my rant!