DC snow

No, I don't know why the format is so bad... :)


For those of you who haven't heard, we have gotten a TON of snow in the Washington, DC area this past week. I know, I know- you probably think we normally get snow... but we really don't. All of those pretty pictures of the Capitol and White House in snow are taken during our 1-2 snow days a year :) (I'll bet you all the photographers had an awesome time taking new pictures this past week!)

The good thing about the snow is that it's pretty and makes everything basically stop. :) Now, the REASON we all come to a stop is that we just don't have the equipment for the most part to clear the snow... and we get a bunch of ice in addition to the snow, which is pretty bad. I mean, we didn't get a snow shovel until last week! I have been in this Townhouse for almost 3 years (and lived in the area for about 11-12 years) and I DIDN'T HAVE A SHOVEL! We just haven't needed one!

So, we had the 20-something thing of snow in December, which closed things down, but we were pretty much up and running within 2 days I think. (we borrowed a neighbor's shovel to get out of that) Then, going into last weekend, we had the big snow storm that gave up something like 26 inches of snow. ... I'm sure everyone mostly freaked out because it was Super Bowl weekend and you couldn't really get out. Thankfully, F----l was able to walk to the local Safeway and pick up some stuff for us to eat. (I got creative with potato skins, hehe)

THEN, on Tues/Wednesday, we had a blizzard. I think only 8-10 inches of snow, but the wind was CRAZY!! You really couldn't see that far at all. Very icy!

Anyways, for those actually IN D.C., they have been more able to get out and about (and have snowball fights) because they have neighborhoods and locals stuff. Since I'm in the suburbs, we have just been sitting tight indoors for the most part. Not too bad, although with this last snow burst, we didn't expect to be confined for a whole freaking' week! Thankfully, we didn't lose power, internet or TV and so we have been able to entertain ourselves. Although after about 3 days, you feel ready to get out SOMEWHERE.

One of the really fun reads throughout these snow days has been the Washington Post. In addition to being on top of the different names of the storms (Dec- Snowpocalypse, Feb 6: Snowmageddon, Feb 9: Snoverkill), they have pretty much had this random commentary throughout the week. I can't find the link (*sniff*), but they started with the normal weather stuff and then went down into random comments. Such as - a neighbor trying to get their dog to go outside; at one point they were listing ACTUAL ADDRESSES of people in DC who did NOT clear off their sidewalks (it's a law to do so in DC and MD) and quotes as to why not; stories about stupid drivers and other snow etiquette- it was REALLY funny :)

Other note- I'm 39 weeks pregnant and so we were just hoping nothing would happen during the storms. Nothing did, but poor F----l because I couldn't help with the snow at all so he had to shovel everything AND be ready if we had to go to the hospital! What a good guy :)

Anyways, enjoy our pictures of the snow!

Quick note...

... because this is killing me. I haven't been watching much US coverage of Haiti and obviously this is a bad situation. BUT, there really are many bad situations in the world and I'm getting rather pissed off when I do hear the most random comments from people who are feeling all this stuff for Haiti and have ABSOLUTELY NO realization of the history of Haiti, how disasters are covered from an aid point, any comprehension of earthquakes... and stuff like that. On my other twitter account (I have one for being pregnant, which until last week really did have stuff on pregnancy) there is this women who posts every two seconds with a combination of good things - how to help in Haiti- and comments/questions that to me are common sense, although I understand that they probably aren't to most people. But, COME ON! Read a bit online at least- you are obviously there enough.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Ok, not the nicest post, but I swear she is pissing me off more and more and I can't write about it anywhere else.

Some quick articles that may be helpful:

Aid flows in Haiti- http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8468484.stm

How earthquakes happen- http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4126809.stm
Ok, my main thing with that is that an earthquake doesn't equal disaster and death- that should be obvious to a degree with the number of survivors (ie, not EVERYONE died) and the fact that Haiti is on an ISLAND that is shared with the Dominican Republic and we have heard really nothing about their damage with the quake. I was about 50 miles away from a 7.0 earthquake in 1989 (Loma Prieta in California) and ONLY felt it because I was at soccer/football practice and so we sat on the ground to feel it (pretty cool, I will add, to feel). So, the range is not so massive as people seem to think. Certainly not compared to things like hurricanes...

BBC country profile Haiti- http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/country_profiles/1202772.stm

Super quick note- I'll try to write more later perhaps... I follow-up on the practicalities of relief efforts and think it's good for people to know the basics.

Current Commercials in the U.S.

It's kinda' interesting because, for the most part, I don't watch TV live anymore. I record what I want to watch and then - on my schedule - I sit down and watch the shows. I really enjoy my DVR, although I have read some interesting articles on the impact of people doing what I do... *Don't watch commercials *We have lost the idea of 'shared viewing' ... I think there was another one, but I don't remember now...

Anyways, for the most part I don't watch commercials, but I will sometimes catch them, particularly if they are right at the start or end of the commercial break (since I haven't started/have finished 'skipping' through). I will say, there are some good commercials out there! There was about a 2 year gap where nothing was really all that great (ugh, I'm HATING the Super Bowl stuff - they are so dull!!! And a lot of medical stuff...), but some have really come back! In particular, I have been enjoying the Playstation 3 commercials. I have below my husband's favorite and my favorite so far:

Commercials that are currently my least favorite are the Ally Bank Commercials. Ok - if your commercial is bad, AT LEAST make sure that we know what you are selling. I just had to do a search to find what company this even was... Apparently a bank, although I don't see any in this area, so perhaps its an online one? I don't even want to look it up because I don't like there commercials so much. Maybe viewing once would be ok, but they are always on!!! Blah.

Wow - that just kinda' bugs me!

So, I'm a pretty boring blogger who doesn't write too much about anything controversial... I write rather on the run and so I just don't have time to do a research paper with proper editing and stuff. BUT, I will try to write about something that kinda' bugs me and hopefully I won't sound too mean or however you can sound when someone is READING what you say as opposed to hearing it (I think when you can talk things are SOOO much more different - probably why there is so much hate talk on the Internet and blogs).

So, I converted to Islam a few years ago and to start off, because I did that AFTER I got married (to a Muslim), I feel that people form an opinion of my religious beliefs due to my timing of conversion. And I don't blame them really; I mean, I probably wouldn't have really looked into Islam as much as I did if I didn't marry a Muslim (well, maybe if I got a good Muslim friend...). People usually don't just wake up and say, "hmmm, I don't like my religion anymore - what else is out there? Let me google it."

So, I think most people assume that I'm not a 'serious' Muslim. Which, I'm ok with because I understand where they come from and in the end, I don't need to justify my faith to them - just to Allah. I do encourage people to ask me about Islam and how I came to the decision to convert and have some really nice conversations with people about that. Also, I kinda' enjoy talking with Christians who are trying to convert groups of Muslims (we get this one group every once and awhile outside a local Yemeni restaurant - it's hilarious!) because I grew up Christian (well, Catholic; since I grew up Catholic I don't quiet 'get' a lot of the Christian groups, hehehe) and therefore know the ins and outs of their arguments and then on the flip side the arguments in and outs of Islam. (seriously, I need to video tape one of those times this Christian group tries to convert people; the population in the restaurant are for the most part from parts of the MidEast/Africa and therefore have a very different 'argument' style from the American Christians...)

I hold VERY strong opinions about personal faith - the main thing being that your faith is above family, community, etc and so any actions/conversions, etc regarding faith should be taking SERIOUSLY and not because someone wants/doesn't want you to do something. As in - if you are even remotely considering converting, you should not only look at the faith you are interested in, but research and talk with the religious leaders of the religion you are currently in. You should not hate the religion you are currently in. This should be something very organic and natural and if you have any doubts - don't do it! I don't think you can switch back because, why did you change in the first place? I actually converted much faster than I (or my husband) wanted, but at a certain point, I couldn't deny my beliefs any more.

Anyways - one of the other things about converting to a religion is that many people seem to feel that when they convert they need to prove how Muslim/Christian/whatever they are. (oh, let me note now that the same applies to Atheists - I swear they are more fundamental many times than people in a religion) THAT is annoying to me. It's one thing to be enthusiastic about your new faith. It's something else to tell everyone else what they are doing wrong or that they are a bad XXXXX (whatever religion), etc. There is something to be said about people who grew up within a religion and there is something to be said about people who grew up where the religion was the main one...

If you grew up in a religion, you got to have your family, societal and own personal point of view of that religion develop from when you were a kid through adulthood. You got to develop your understanding from the childhood explanations (God is good - just know that) to the more more adult reasons (yes, bad things do happen to good people). Your understanding has grown and you have probably gone through ups and downs of being rather strict to your religion to not being strict at all (although the religion was still part of your identity).

If you come into a religion at a later time in life, your entire understanding is different. You are already an adult, you already know certain things about other religions, personal faith, perceptions of other religions, the inequalities/hardships/unfairness of life, etc. Ideally, you have a long period of time to look at the new religion and question everything; somewhat go through a simulated ups and downs that the children do with the religion. But, it will be different and your personal understanding of the religion will always to some degree be influenced by your former religion because that was your/your family/your community identity for so long. And THAT'S OK! Experiences are important and make us who we are, but you CHOOSE your faith at a point and so it's expected that things are different for each of us. (hmmm - I may come back to this because I don't think I'm properly explaining my thoughts...) That doesn't make you any less or more apart of that new religion... Your faith is YOUR faith and in the end, it's between you and Allah...

The second thing I notice is a difference between people who grew up in countries where their religion was the main one vs. those who grew up as the minority religion. I feel very lucky that in the U.S., in most parts of the country, there is an acceptance of people from different religions (yes, it would be nice also if more religious holidays could be recognized, but I agree that this only works in places where there is such a large population of X religion that it would be beneficial and considerate... it wouldn't make much sense to have a day off for Eid in a place where there are only a few Muslims, would it? By the way, you can still take off using holiday time for religious purposes, due to the religious rights guaranteed in most states). I'm also glad that it doesn't affect most personal relationships within the U.S. That is not the case everywhere, most notably in parts of Europe (I honestly have done research on different immigrant groups in Europe during university and find that both sides take many actions that hurt understanding and national assimilation). But, to get back to my point - I do find a big difference in how people view their religion, if they grow up as a majority religion or minority.

Mostly, many of the people who grow up as a majority religion have a much more relaxed sense of their faith. They are often more willing to talk about it in a constructive manner and they don't judge people so harshly many times (unless there is something culturally-religious off... like wearing hijab and short sleeves in parts of the Middle East... "why where the hijab?") Religion and faith is assumed as they grew up and so there is no need to defend their actions or their religion to others so much...

Compared to people who grow up the minority religion. (by grow-up, if you came into the country of question anytime before 18, you pretty much fit that bill... there can be variations, but I have seen people both come to the U.S/Canada or parts of the Middle East around this time who fit this bill) Their understanding of their own religion is different because, as a minority religion, they will at times have to explain to others their beliefs. Sometimes, this leads them to form a good understanding of how to bridge the 'gap' between religions, sometimes it makes them become very defensive and hostile. Sometimes, it causes them to quit their religion and go for agnostic/atheism/the main religion... Also, as the minority religion, their community of people within the faith is much smaller and I find some really interesting beliefs that come out of the different communities - mostly based upon where many of the people of that religion come from originally. It is very easy to find teachings that, to the people who grew up as the majority religion in their home country, are not quite right to the teachings that where taught where the religion was the majority. (does that make sense?) For example, my husband is constantly "correcting" to our friends things that they heard about Islam from his cousins, who came to the U.S. as children and grew up within the religion here. I'm sure- I KNOW - this doesn't apply to everyone who grew up the majority religion in a place, but it seems like there is almost less of an opportunity for more people as a minority to question their faith, which leads to just interesting understandings sometimes...

So, I am coming off harsh and want to finish that point by saying that family counts for A LOT and I think no matter what category you are in - your family teachings and beliefs help people in how they view religion, the world and the people around them... I'm just gripping about those cases where people will say things that are so far out there that you wonder "how did they get this way? Why do they think in such a manner?"

Please let me know your thoughts! :) And/or if I should further explain anything here or write about anything more... I need to work on my blogging skills! I still think I communicate better in conversation... :)

Great News Story- My MacBook was Shot!!

If you have not already read the stories, please take a minute to read about the American who had her MacBook shot 3 times after going through Israeli border security questioning for about 2 hours...

Border security guards kill -- literally kill -- a MacBook
I’m sorry but we blew up your laptop (welcome to Israel) (the original story)

I will say, I love the comments :)

The funny thing too is that you can see in the comments other stories for people this has happened to as well! I'm not surprised necessarily, because I always do hear about problems that people have going through the borders into Israeli, but SHOOTING a laptop?!!! Come on! That's a bit much. Particularly since they KNEW who the laptop belonged too... we only blow up luggage in the U.S. if it's unclaimed... ;)

So, I'm not writing seriously about this, but I find it hard to because it's such a big example of how messed up things are... True, many things in many countries around the world are messed up, but there is a very limited amount of places where you find people who are obviously not a 'high risk' person treated as if they are. I will try to write another article later about some of the most obvious issues to Israel's security (caused by them), or I encourage people to read Haartez as I find they have good editorials and articles, while obviously showing their interest to create and maintain a solid Israeli state.

Other (more depressing) articles about Israeli border security:

Haaretz: Shirt Detonation Procedure

Bad Day at the Israel-Jordan Border

Getting ready for baby

So, I have pretty much stopped all blogging because I'M TOO BUSY!!! ;) Just kidding - I waste so much time...

Seriously though, I am trying to get my ENTIRE life in order before baby comes sometime in February (inshallah). I am due Feb 16, but we'll see how that goes. It's kinda' funny that there is not real set timeline for giving birth... It will happen when it happens and hopefully it doesn't happen BEFORE I have things set up!

Here are my lists of things to do at work before I give birth (I pretty much have to work until the end; I get 6 weeks of short term disability (8 week for c-section), after using 15 days of sick leave/vacation... so I'm pretty much working until the end so that I don't run out of sick days BEFORE the disability starts there therefore don't get paid. I get around 65% of my salary while on short-term disability. - although I heard that the President may change that to 100% which would be AWESOME!!!!)

Before December 23

· Clean office
Make list of where things are
Make list of event to-dos
New folders/checklists for Summer/Fall 2010

·L List of Spring ’10 students and notes
Copies of Emails to send out during semester for

o Currently abroad

o Going abroad

o Applicants

· Local Contact list
Spring ’10 calendar (in office)
Request meetings for Grad intern with Admissions, ISS
Get Student Worker Spring ’10 schedule
Update student records with Permission to release info, flight info

Before January 15

· Study Abroad Fair/Welcome Back

o Food for reception

o Big signs (by students) announcing fair to go in Lee Center & Cafeteria

· Sign up student workers for cafeteria info table through semester
Reserve Room for info sessions in different locations/times
Donut/Coffee Table
Residence Hall something
Big signs at deadlines?
Word of mouth campaign? (have to talk with certain people for clues…?)
Sign off SECUSS-L and DOS emails
Train Freshmen student worker in Word/Publisher
Assign Student Workers projects

o International Week

o Marketing (Banner ads, posters)

o Orientations, Students Abroad liaison, Alumni

o New boards – update with current news & Facebook, etc

o Admin follow-up, scholarship, meetings between alumni and applicants

I am lucky that we were able to get a graduate intern who can work up to 20 hours a week for the office while I am out because otherwise it's just my boss and the 5 student workers :) She also has experience abroad and in a study abroad office which will be very helpful.

So, I just need to make sure that they know everything I know... in particular Dates of things (deadlines, applications, etc), partner program requirements, orientations, handouts, visa stuff (THAT'S a fun one! hehehe)... emails/normal communications, registration notices, housing notices... It's hard to think of what I do because so many things are these small things that are important, but kinda' part of everything!

Wish me luck!!! :)

CNN and other U.S. news outlets

Since around 2006, I have pretty much not watched U.S. news channels. For a bit, I would watch Good morning America on ABC or The Today Show on NBC, but there has been a significant decline in the amount of local news channels that I watch for news and almost a complete stop to the national news programs. For local news (and I pretty much only would watch in the morning anyways) - the best in the DC area is probably Fox 5 and Channel 7/8 (ABC). Both focus on local news and have lots of local news stories, events and weather/traffic. They are pretty upbeat and keep the focus on our area, which is good for me in the morning. Things seem less 'right' or 'left' when they do that sort of thing.

But, our national news has gotten ridiculous. In high school, I used to prefer CNN above other 24 hour news stations because, well - they actually would have 24 hour news going on. Early in this decade, they changed to more of a Fox News set up where they would have more 'talk shows' and opinion pieces. And then, the Israel/Hezbollah conflict started in 2006. That was the turning point for me with CNN. It was very frustrating to watch the news and see how uncomfortable the news casters and reporters were to have to ask questions in their interviews that were so obviously going for a particular point. The interviewee would be looking at the reporter like they were crazy, answer the question and then get usually frustrated or mad when the reporter would ask another question (obviously from a pre-set list) that either asked what the person just replied about or they wouldn't ask something off what the person just said to make the interview better. They were just asking these lists of questions that were almost irrelevant to the interviewee or the situation. It's one thing to show a particular viewpoint from the station heads - it's another to engage in bad journalism in accomplish that.

I really feel like we are going down the road of yellow journalism. Ratings matter and, of course, in the age of 24 hours/ 7 days a week news outlets, they must come up with shows to fill the time in between legitimate news. But, now the shows have become the focus. I liked CNN over mainstream morning shows because they would do news and only news... none of the interview fluff that the other shows do. Now, they only have the shows and try to be like the fluffy morning shows. And so we (the public) don't get hard facts... just opinions. And there often are not a good balance between opinions. I am pretty darn liberal, but I don't need to always hear a liberal point of view. If you always hear what you like, then you have a very skewed and flawed view of the world, which doesn't help you, your community or your country at all. You need to see what others say and if your argument can hold up - great! Otherwise, perhaps you need to do more research into your own options on a topic.

So, how do I get my news? First, I listen to NPR (WAMU in the DC area) every day to and from work. I love NPR. I do think they are a bit liberal, but they are careful to bring in different points of view and point out to listeners if they are, as a station, saying one point of view over another (ie, I have heard them say things like the NPR board members have said this or done this and so you may think this report is biased). I think their programming is great - not just the news in the morning and evening, but also during the day like the Diane Rehm show - great panel discussions!!

Second, I have the BBC and Washington Post webpages up during the day. I am still fine with pretty much all U.S. print media. Why? Because they take their time to research things and have to really back up their articles. There is more time put into articles and therefore the reporters are held pretty much to a higher standard. (other papers I will follow in the U.S. include SFGate (San Francisco Chronicle) and the New York Times (even though they got bought out :P)

I also get emails from Haartez, New York Times, and the Washington Post. I will occasionally check out Al Jazeera, although I honestly prefer their newscasts over their webpage. The BBC I usually prefer the online over the newscasts - I'm not sure why...

Finally - I get a bit annoyed at the difference in style between CNN in the U.S. and CNN International. CNN International is what I want CNN U.S. to be - good coverage, actual news coverage, and good reporters. I will watch CNN when I'm abroad, but just can't stand to watch it here...

So, why this post on news in the U.S. now? Well, today, CNN (ok - I heard it on NPR) announced that Lou Dobbs is leaving their network. While I never watched this guy, I heard plenty about him as he was the one who for about 6 months was arguing that Obama was not born a U.S. citizen. Even after irrefutable evidence was out there and CNN ran stories showing that, he still would insist that there was not evidence to show that Obama was born in the U.S. I am hopeful that CNN has realized that their strength was in good reporting and news stories... and that they will go back to good news and not this crappy fluff that I really don't need.

Procrastination

Yep - I have tons of things to do, but I'm going to write... I have no idea about what. I just need a moment to think outside of work. ;P

I have been very distracted lately at work and feel at times like everything is going to collapse around me! While for the majority of my pregnancy I have not really had mood swings (my husband may beg to differ), I have noticed that in the last week I have been getting annoyed, antsy, anxious, etc rather quickly. I have had a stuffed nose for about 2 weeks now (I did get both the flu and H1N1 shot - yay!) which is not helping my head and probably has helped me feel so 'off' and 'blah.' I even went home on Wednesday because I wasn't feeling great and didn't want to kill my student workers who are great and lovely and can be oh so not productive like I would prefer at times... (just kidding - they are great, which is why I went home before I snapped for no reason)

I am still behind on work and I have not prepared my stuff for when I give birth as much as I'd like. I need to really get on that before our intern comes in and before the winter break since I'll only be here a month after that!!!

Personally, I'm behind on house work, the baby's room (well, I'm still undecided on much of that, but I don't think the baby will care too much anyways until they are... 1? 2?) and my language stuff. I NEED to start up my Arabic again!!!! 1. I have only really been talking in English during my pregnancy and so baby H isn't getting any of the sounds 2. I have been married over 5 years and it's just sad that I'm not more proficient than I am 3. F----l's mom is coming for about 2 months to help with baby H and I think I need to get my Arabic at least better than her English. It's just not fair to her that I'm still so bad. It's true - I'm more COMFORTABLE with my Arabic I know now, but my vocabulary is just sad. ... And I'm all talk and no action in my learning.

Any tips for learning? I get annoyed because many of the 'basic' level stuff is so basic that I would never use it in conversation with my husband, his family and our friends. I sort-of jump to higher levels, but I think that is screwing things up. And I know colloquial much more than MSA which also messes up when I look at language books. :( It's annoying. F----l thinks that if I watch more tv it will help, but I find that unless it's a Syrian or Gulf show, they don't repeat words enough for me to understand. I can't tell I understand more than years ago, but the Egyptian shows just don't repeat words enough to help with language learning!!! ;)

Ok - I was able to talk about something and so now I'll get back to work! Wish me luck!

Impressions of the U.S. I have seen from non-Americans

As I have mentioned previously, I work in International Education at a University in the Washington, DC area. This is a GREAT field to be in - it's very rewarding to work with students and there is also a great community of people within International Education who have great points of views about everything in the world. Also many different backgrounds - I consider my job to have everything in it: education, advising, legal work, marketing, logistics, and the list goes on...

While I do get to have great travels, people looking to be an international educator JUST for travel should know 2 things: 1. The DIRECTOR mostly travels (unless you are in admissions or a program rep for a region, in which case you may have travel to specific areas of the U.S. or world) 2. Site visits are usually quite work intensive and so... THEY AREN'T VACATIONS! Granted, it does depend on where you are - with my old work, I would get maybe 1/2 day of free time in a 10 day trip abroad; now, I have more free time although it is still only about a day or two...

But, I wanted to respond to the request to write a bit about how students coming into the U.S. view the culture and their experience. My responses are going to be a bit over the place as my current job deals more with students going for study abroad OUTSIDE the U.S., although I'm still in constant contact with many of our international students through the office and then other international persons in my private life. Now, for most of my comments - they are coming from students who came from Africa, Asia or the Middle East. Many of the comments is same from the Europeans, but there are some differences that I'll try to point out.

U.S. schools:

*There is a general amazement at the causal atmosphere of U.S. schools. Such as talking during class, eating/drinking during class, group discussions... This is pretty much across the board, whether the students are from Europe, Latin America, Africa, MidEast or Asia. People will focus on different things that they find more relaxed, but the general impression is that class in general is more relaxed than at their home universities/high schools.

*Often, students initially think that the classes are easier (probably because they are relaxed). That usually stops by the first quiz or paper. Many international students are not used to have to take small quizzes/papers so often, but rather used to the one big paper/exam for the entire semester grade.

* Plagiarism is a HUGE deal - many of our students don't understand what it is and/or why it's bad. This seems to go a few ways: 1. if you get the work done, what does it matter? 2. no one has original thought, so why should you have to cite everything you take from someone else? Doesn't that end up being the entire paper? A friend of mine from Switzerland had to always adjust her mindset coming in because she was used to a French system that figures you will argue a point and the reference don't matter as much because it's assumed you didn't come up with the ideas out of thin air (ie, you're not that smart).

*Professor/student interactions - many students find it hard to adapt to the causal relationship initially. (they like it, it just can be hard to get used to from certain places) Also, the idea that a good relationship does not necessarily equal a good grade.

College life:

*Social scene - unfortunately, many students will join cliques within their regional groups. It IS VERY hard for many international students to 'break into' the U.S. social groups - language ability and general social skills/laid back attitude certainly helps.

*Dating - always a tricky situation at first; we had a great discussion about this at a student meeting where they talked about 'dating' back home and 'dating' here. Many students find it fascinating how Americans don't want to commit AT ALL to a relationship or even think about marriage and kids. Many do view it as mostly disrespectful to the women in the U.S. that they don't put any standards on their relationships and future family idea.

*Clubs - most international students are either VERY involved or VERY not; there doesn't seem to be much of an in-between.

*Religion/morals/family - Europeans usually find the U.S. very pushy about religion and feel like we are very conservative with our moral views (even in 'liberal' areas like California and New York area cities). MidEast/Asians and parts of Africa find us very lose in our morals and often view the culture as not putting much respect/consideration to the family. (keep in mind, these cultures often are in the 'group think' category and have HIGH family consideration in every day life) Other parts of Africa/Caribbean/Latin America have mixed views depending on the topic.

Hmmmm - I have a head cold that is killing me and I can't think right now of any other topics. Comment if you have any categories and I can tell you what I have seen, although please keep in mind that my observations are OBSERVATIONS and can be particular to my area and the groups of international students I come across.

Your opinion?

So... I have two situations that I would LOVE to hear other people's opinions about. I find it fascinating and am not sure what to think about it really...

1. Unapproved marriage

So, there is a girl who has gotten engaged to a man whom EVERYONE (I can't think of anyone actually for it outside 1-2 brothers) is pretty much against. Not because the guy is bad, but rather for the way the entire situation was brought up and the overall conditions. A bit of background:

*the girl is Muslim (and family is, although they are pretty non-practicing within the family nucleus, outside the mom- dad passed away)

*the guy is not Muslim (that we know of - I'm not sure what he is; I think Christian something)

*the girl is 29; the guy is 40 or 50-something

*the guy is divorced with 2 kids (a 17 yr boy and 13 yr girl; or something like that). The girl lives with her mom in another state; the boy is in the area, but lives with his girlfriend and her family.

*the girl is a receptionist at a pound; the guy is a truck driver (locally)

*Dated about 1-2 months before got engaged - no one met the guy before hand and there was no introductions until the engagement itself

*girl (and her mom) wants kids really bad; guy doesn't seem to want to (already has two)

Objections:

*Guy is much older (I think he is younger than her dad would be, but looks rather old)

*Guy has ok job, but nothing that is considered a great career or something to help with retirement

*Guy is divorced with two kids. (this is more an issue to if the girl will take care of them and how it will be when/if she has kids by him)

*No one was asked about the guy or got to know him before the engagement and now most are against him because of that

*Obviously not a religious marriage

*Not what deceased father would want

Side notes:

*The girl is difficult (stubborn, immature, spends a lot, thinks of self only)

*The girl tends to date people who are very bad to her (mentally, physically)

*The girl tends to reject any guys that family/friends bring forward to her because they came from family/friends

*The girl doesn't have a career that she is happy with, but won't move forward to another job

*The girl tends to take lots of vacation without seeing how that could hurt her job

*The girl only comes to family/friends if she needs something from them (money, stuff)

*Both girl and guy grew up in U.S. (girl's family is culturally Arab, but they are more American - seriously, I understand most of the Arabness culture better than they do!)

*The guy is trying to talk with family, although through his conversations he often bring up his current kids. I'm not sure about what their relationship really is; especially considering the son doesn't live with him.

What do you think? They are having a civil ceremony soon and the 'actual wedding' later...

Oh - just found out that the guy became Islamic... (I'll keep my comments on witnessing that to myself)

2. Perceptions of life in random places

Another family friend is great fun, however they will say the most odd things and are determined to think of things a certain way- no matter if you give solid proof to the contrary. The funniest thing is to hear them talk about places where they lived. Their background:

*Grew up in Syria (1950-1970s)

*Living in Saudi (7-ish years in 1970s)

*Came to Southern CA (late 1970s through mid-1980s)

*Live in DC area (mid/late 1980s to now)

MY background is California (1980s-2002) and then the DC area (with travel to other spots, although only really living in London; month here and there in Jordan, a week or so in other locals). My husband: grew up in Saudi (late 1970s- mid 1990s), lived in Jordan (mid-1990s to around 2000 or so), live and work in Saudi (2000 or so through 2003-ish), now in U.S.

So, it's funny because they will talk about each location - with conviction - like they have not changed since they left!! Plus, they gets everything backwards. The other day, they were saying it look them 5 hours to get from one place in CA to another... I live about 400 miles away from their starting point and it takes ME about 5 hours to get to the end point - it should have taken them only about an hour! hehehe

Other funny stuff - she says all sorts of things about Saudi, despite the fact that she was only there around 7 years and left in the 1970s. My husband will counter that he lived there longer AND more recently, but that doesn't seem to make a difference. Pretty much ditto for every other location in the Middle East. In particular, apparently no one in the Gulf eats out...!!!! I thought that comment was pretty darn funny!!!

Please comment - I'm curious to see what people think.